Networking and Raisin Bran

     I've successfully avoided daycare for my boys for years.  Where I go, they go when they don't have school.  I found out a few months ago that I was accepted for a program in college.  Great news!... wait, but that means I don't get to pick my schedule anymore, they pick it for me.  So as I'm on the hunt for the perfect sitter I don't really know where to start.  So I called our local job council that has a child care referral network.  They have a disclosure that says they do not recommend or endorse anyone, they simply compile a list and provide it to you.  I won't go into details other than to say I fought back tears because of how filthy the living conditions were in this home. Holy discouragement Batman!  Of course the first place I went to had to scare the pants off me, we got home, changed clothes and washed our hands, took a nap and were good as new. lol
    That evening we made a trip over to C's teacher's house (from last year) to deliver a little craft project we had been working on for her.  She showed such patience and caring throughout the year and still during the Summer time when she should be vacationing, that we thought we'd do something nice for her.  She has these 3 amazingly well behaved dogs, one of them being a St. Bernard, the boys LOVE big dogs.  To top it off, her husband is a fireman....  It was like Ryker stepped into his dreams.  He got to look at dog books, hear stories of dog agility training, watch fire fighting videos, check out the fire truck, get some goodies, see a police officer stop by to say hi, and by the time they got in the car they were ready for bed so they could crack open their glow sticks. LOL. Best couple of hours we've spent all summer and what we desperately needed after such a weird morning.
    Then this morning I gave a lady a call that I was referred to from some of the staff at C's school.  She has an ASD support group, oh, did I mention she has a day care center AND it's affordable also? Yep, the stars aligned and birds sang.  The more I talked to her the more giddy I became.  She has been through such similar things ( she has an Aspie in the family too).  Right down to doing all the research yourself because you can't get anyone to help you and you don't feel like there's anyone who will ever understand your frustrations and struggles, and even the victories that no one else gets are a big deal.   I'm more excited than anyone will ever know to meet people that will understand my life and how Asperger's effects the entire family.  When I told C that there was a chance he could meet other kids with Asperger's he just smirked and said, "oh, they are special needs like me... cool, they won't be jerks".  WOW.  First and foremost, I corrected him on his choice of words, he's 9 not 90 and doesn't need to call anyone a jerk.  But mostly, it solidified what I had been trying to tell everyone for years.  Just because he doesn't show externally how hurt he is by the treatment he gets from other kids, doesn't mean he's not affected.  There's also that term, "special needs" that I think has to go.  It's good to understand the term, but I'm afraid that will come back and be used as a crutch. 
    I'll be talking to her again soon, but in the meantime I feel hopeful for both of us building new networks and relationships with people who have to structure their lives like ours.
     At the moment I'm being reprimanded for turning off the tv and throwing away something of C's without telling him.... Only I didn't throw anything away.   And I only turned the tv off after he refused to brush his teeth and threw his brothers things down because he wanted to play where Ry was.  This whole managing my own behavior is much harder than you would think.  I want so badly to lecture him into seeing things my way... Problem is, that will NEVER happen, not in this lifetime anyways.  One of the things about being an Aspie means that whatever they believe, you can't change their minds.  If they believe it, it IS true. 
     Along with managing my own behavior I've been trying to keep out of every disagreement they boys have.  As my ears are ringing from the shrieks and screams I wonder how much longer I can hold out.
    I took a 20 minute time out for myself, lol.  Contemplating the importance of earplugs and closets.  I figured they'd find me anyways so I grabbed my book and closed the bathroom door and pretended to be "busy".  Turns out they respect your "poop time" as Ry so lovingly said.  And that's where the fighting stopped.  Wonder how many times I can make this work? lol  I might have to pretend to eat a lot of Raisin Bran so they don't get suspicious. 
   
    I'm off to make dinner,
        Nikki